I smile

As I chatted with a friend of mine today, I realized I’d forgotten.

Forgotten what makes me smile.

The word seemed to alienate itself from my existence. I had to distance myself for a while to realize that whilst I’ve been remembering to plaster it on each day, everyday, I’ve increasingly forgotten what truly makes my lips turn into a grin…into a heartfelt smile.

My smile curves into a lopsided grin when I sit back and listen to someone speak the words I want to hear. It’s lopsided because those words aren’t meant for me. They’re spoken for someone else…to someone else. I remain a mere bystander, observing. And somewhere in my fantasies, I see myself secretly trade places with the lucky lass.

I smile when I suddenly hear that song that somehow found itself at the bottom of my playlist. I smile at the memories that it brings along with the melody. And the words. Oh, those words! It pulls at those long-forgotten strings lying deep within a long-lost life…and there it begins to play a tune of its own. This time, however, a little different…a little nostalgic.

Dance… I smile when I see someone dance. I smile for I know I cannot. I smile because you can. Or he can. Or she can. I smile because they can. I smile because I know that someday, one day…so shall I. Dance…

My lips form an involuntary curve when I stumble upon a look that is shared between two of cupid’s newest victims. I smile when I find myself as an unexpected, uninvited and nonexistent part of their moment…of that glance they thought no one else noticed. I smile because I sense their desire, their passion, and their sheer helplessness when they seek each other out in the midst of hundreds of others…and I smile because I understand why they can’t break away from that stare. I smile because I know that for them…only they exist.

And…I smile.

For the first time in months, I truly smile.

Image

Advertisements

One thought on “I smile

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s